


The Science of Man

by orphan_account



Series: The Science of Man- Isaac Newton [1]
Category: History - Fandom
Genre: Gay, Letter, Love, M/M, Sexual Confusion, Shame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 00:33:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16566173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Isaac Newton is known as one of the greatest minds this world has ever seen. In one of his books, Principia, he establishes the Scientific Rules of Reasoning. These rules were intended to be applied to thorough scientific experimentation, but the "philosophes" of the Enlightenment found another use for them- the science of man. David Hume applies the Scientific Rules of Reasoning to human nature to explain things such as senses, habits, imagination, morality, and society.Although Hume is credited as the first to use these rules in such a manner, Isaac Newton was curious about using the Rules of Reasoning to find an explanation of matters in himself. Even the greatest minds get lost sometimes.





	The Science of Man

      I often stay awake long nights, not conducting scientific experiments in the traditional manner, but conducting an observation of myself- of my mind. Who's to say my rules of reasoning cannot be applied to oneself? Let's call this scientific study of one's behavior the "science of man", shall we? Consider the use of reasoning to uncover natural laws as a type of societal science. I believe that everything can be analyzed- and it must for us to achieve complete understanding and total knowledge of the world around us.

 

      Now, as I write in my dimly lit room at Cambridge University, I am analyzing myself. I've observed that I rarely make time to rest and a sort of mental peace alludes me. This may be caused by my confusion over what I really feel and what is compelling me to feel this way.

 

      What  _do_ I really feel? I do not think of it much because emotion is the single fault of mankind's otherwise perfect design, but considering and coddling one's emotional state proves to be beneficial. So, is it loneliness and neglect that I'm feeling? I've heard many respectable men say that nights spent alone are not good for a man. It deprives a man of his natural instinct and desire. But this mustn't be true as the desires I'm experiencing are hardly natural. Which leads me to my next question- why do I feel such desires? I have spent countless nights on my knees begging our heavenly father for an explanation or deliverance from my wretched soul- yet I receive no reply. As Eve partook of the forbidden fruit I have indulged myself in the nectar of sinful lust. And how I crave that nectar! As one gains an addiction to drink I find myself a desperate slave to this unholy want. I indulge and indulge and indulge and will continue to indulge myself as I feel that I cannot suppress my desire!

      Despite my pleading, my prayers remain unanswered. I do not dare to call God a wicked man, but I do not doubt that he enjoys seeing us suffer. I am only human, therefore, as a crow is drawn to fine jewelry, I am drawn to beauty. Tell me, then, why I cannot see the beauty in a woman. Yes she has striking features and the rounded curves reflecting that of a rich family bearing a large dowry, but why do I not find pleasure in her warm embrace? She does not stand out and I cannot train my eyes to recognize her beauty. But never have my eyes failed to recognize a man's wide set shoulders and strength of build. Never have they failed to notice the power of man. My dear companion John Wickens is no exception. Not only does he posses a fine build, he is also well educated and my mind cannot dismiss a man with wit, a man with whom I can discuss my complex theories without having to waste time simplifying or explaining them in lame man's terms. Discussing my theories with a man of great knowledge such as he guarantees a reply with intelligent comments or questions I never thought to explore myself. 

      And what a man he is when he lies next to me. What a man he is that I feel cared for. What a man he is that I want to be loyal to him, as a wife does her husband. I can't help but surrender myself completely at his mercy. I am rendered helpless at his touch. Never before have I felt so attracted to another soul that I have let them explore me in the way he always does. My heart leaps whenever he touches me and because of this I find it hard to believe that our love is a sin. How could God deprive humanity of such a sweet thing? My John is no stranger to what I think of our companionship as he knows me so well, but I find it increasingly difficult to deny him. Some nights I beg God to lift this curse and others I pray that God would forgive me. 

 

      I am looking at John and admiring him in his sleep. His chest bare and uncovered, lit aglow by the firelight. His hair cascading over the pillow beneath his head. Such beauty is unfathomable. I find myself tracing over the fingerprints, the bruises, the marks he leaves behind, and I treasure them. Their contrast to my pale skin is delightful. I wish I could bare them proudly and show them off, but alas... 

 

      My dear John, I hope you will continue to love me for many years to come. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first work of my Isaac Newton series AND the first work in my collection, Gay History.  
> PLEASE EMAIL ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO ADD A WORK TO THE GAY HISTORY COLLECTION!!!!!!
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment.
> 
> This is a letter Isaac Newton is writing to himself about struggles with sexuality and morality while he is studying at Cambridge. I like to picture young Isaac Newton as Scott Handy portrays him during his studies at Cambridge in The Secret Life of Isaac Newton documentary. I would definitely recommend watching it!


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